Bootsie's Things That Go Bump In The Night

Ooh Baby Baby.

2007-12-24T18:19:00.000-06:00

Sore boobs...$65. (the price of a nice new bra to make the tatas feel better)

Constipation...$15. (the price of a giganto bottle of Citracel at Costco)

A 2-pack of Clear Blue Easy both producing PLUS SIGNS one Thursday afternoon in August...

...

PRICELESS.

So after all these years, not once had I resorted to buying a pregnancy test. But let me say that when I did, along with it I purchased a bag of Twizzlers, a bag of Dove dark chocolates, and a box of OB tampons cuz SURELY I'd be needing them.

But I was so very wrong and so completely in shock within an hour of thinking I'd be snacking on cherry licorice and washing it down with random bites o' creamy chocolate as self-soothing for that premenstrual time I was SURE I was experiencing.

Cut to December and here I am typing away on Christmas Eve with the laptop taking on a new meaning as more a "bellytop"- at a mere 24 (lunar) weeks pregnant. Here I sit, with what people are calling a glow on my face WHEN ACTUALLY IT'S JUST SWEAT beading up on my head. C'mon, people. Glow, MY ASS.

In all reality, these are the feelings I've had as it relates to having the proverbial bun in my oven:

shock

awe

more shock

amazement

luck

bewilderment

fear

wonderful anticipation

appreciation

greater love

less tolerance

*more tolerance *(possibly not apparent to my very sweet hubby)

joy

understanding

The doctor's appointments, the sonograms, the listening in on baby's heartbeat, the varied sleep positions I have now adopted, the books, the reading of consumer reports on safety of seats and strollers and toys, OH MY.

I'm here to say that I'm truly humbled by what I didn't think I'd ever experience and by what I've far too often been critical of. Being the innocent, kidless bystander who never really knew a damn thing about parenthood, and all. And I'm not claiming to know anything now. It's the sheer respect that comes from opening the door to this arena and peeking in to see the very black, bottomless hole which represents all that you don't know and all that you're leaving behind.

So, these past months of experiencing pregnancy have taken a while to get used to. While I've thought of the many smartass blog entries - I was consumed with running during the hot hot heat of our summer to be followed by an even hotter, hotter heat felt by watching the plus signs pop into the window on the sticks! Ahh, but it's quite a journey, and I've got so much more to say.

For now, I will bid a farewell until next time when I'll start referencing the many things I'd like to put in a book about what this maiden gestation voyage is/has been like.

It's hard to think with a room full of chatter going on in the room next door. And I'm feeling guilty for taking too long with the quiet time I so crave and don't get nearly enough of when it comes to holidays here in the Midwest. fa-la-la-la-laaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Signing off with a wink and a soft-as-a-baby butt smile.

bitten.

2007-07-12T22:04:00.000-05:00

so i'm stricken. taken. silly about the fact that i have, for 2 months now, nails. real-over-tops-of-fingertips-kinda-pretty-in-pink-able-to-be-used-as-pointing-devices nails.

and i look at them and feel the ever-growing strength of them in a ceaseless way (except when i sleep, and hell, maybe i do it then too). i scratch with them. i FILE them to keep them even with one another. i am dizzy by the fact that i now can get the mani/pedi combo. seriously, this is a big freakin deal to me. Essie, OPI, Sally Hansen - watch out. your sales will be trending up, bitches!

you see, it's not ever been a luxury of mine. because i've had the incessant habit of biting them since i was a wee one. and a little worry-wart wee one was i. oh sure, i've had a few intermissions in my nailbiting past during which i grew them a bit. but then, it was almost a pressure that built up and i didn't want to get used to something i KNEW i couldn't keep. so i'd bite off every goddamn last one of 'em.

nailbiting has been a constant visual reminder of my stress level. and the way i see it, there's been an assload of stress these past 36 years. i have always been this laid back on the outside, wound up on the inside gal. perfectionist extraordinaire.

i was probably shaving off my nails at the ripe age of 8 during which time i had to be medicated from the stress of Red Cross swimming lessons because i was terrified of water and being plunged into the 10-foot. a time when i was certain i'd be sinking like a 2-ton 8-year-old anchor in that deep end of the pool. oh yes, i was biting my little elementary-school nails in between math and language arts... and it continued, through papers written on sunday nights. thru relationships that taught me what i really didn't want. thru jobs which felt like boot camps led by the devil himself.

there's been a change. not a temporary one. not a fleeting idea of possibly thinking i might stop biting. it is what i'm deeming a nail-growing manifesto.

come nail away with me.

clean clothes rising.

2007-07-01T19:22:00.000-05:00

i've come to the conclusion that i have the most extreme dislike for doing laundry...but now that my hubby-love plays the very famous role of laundry boy, i can't make room fast enough for the clean clothes ascending from our basement. christ, this man can get done in one day what would take me WEEKS to accomplish.

i should be taking notes and learning the techniques of such a diligent master of the machines. observe the habits of running toward it upon beeping call. i've been more a girl who does this sort of task out of necessity. like my ass needs a canopy, so guess it's time to wash a pair o' pants. my cootch needs cloak, better throw in a load by golly.

so did i create the habit of hating laundry because i've always known there's not QUITE enough room for all the shit i buy? or do i keep buying shit because i hate laundry duties & in my many years of being a singleton never got my ass in gear to do laundry fast enough.

these are the just a few of the questions i ponder as i fold, pile, stack, roll, carry, hanger, shove and tuck into the very limited space of our 1930's home which is not meant to contain my new millenium retail needs.

truth is, folks - i don't WANT all the laundry finished. because i'll surely be exposed and the "homeland security" of this cottage will kick up to RED ALERT. sirens will sound. credit cards will self-destruct within 60 seconds. there i'll be with nowhere to turn, a basket full of clothing waiting for its place but alas there will be no room for it.

so i'm convinced that i have to clean out my drawers so my nordstrom lovin'-late night web shoppin'-trend watchin'-retail therapy needin' ass doesn't get busted. yet.

run like hell.

2007-04-15T23:16:00.000-05:00

so it's the year of the running bull.

last fall, i got a wild hair after cheering on the Kansas City marathoners. it was so inspiring and very emotional to watch all these folks doing what i once did nearly 5 years ago.

but this time, it's different. i actually have completed one and live to tell about it. even managed a respectable time and all, keeping in mind that i trained by myself, i had never run more than 5 miles at the time i decided to train, and i hated running long distance all my life, really. ahh, but the memories haven't faded of the aftermath either. the limping around, tragically, for weeks after and not having enough sense to a) go see a doc, therapist, chiropractor, accupuncturist, orthopedic surgeon, or christ -ANYONE- who might make sense of the pain/injury...or b) refer back to the options in aforementioned list.

okay back to watching the marathoners whiz by. you see, that was my point of no return. when my innerspeak was hollering: get your lazy, off-the-running-bandwagon-ass back into the groove and sign up. i felt ready. inspired. and i am ready to get into the best shape of my life by age 40. why start slowly?

and along with me, cheering on the corner back on that october chilled day, was my hubby. mind you, he is only a runner when necessary (i.e. annual Trolley Run follies with beer and breakfast to follow) or due to participation in a duathalon or triathalon. no, he's never run for its ability to whip one's ass into cardio shape. he's a cyclist and cares not about watching a mile go by at a mere 5 or 6 mph. he'd prefer to watch them zip by at 17 or 18 mph whilst having his feet clipped in upon pedals in a fashion you'll never see me locking into, thanks. i don't desire to join my bike in a tumbling routine with it still attached to me and my bloodied ass as i roll end-over-end on the pavement. but thanks for asking. i don't give a fuck if lance armstrong makes it cool and hip and all easy looking. (and while we're on the topic of bikes for a minute - because of my reference to lance - did you know he'll be doing the grand and fantastic RAGBRAI '07 - that stands for Register's Annual Great Bicycle Ride Across Iowa? now, then, i might consider getting on the bike for a week for RAGBRAI, but i'll do it SANS clipped feet onto pedals and only if lance promises to be my pace leader.)

sorry, digressing. this is about running, not about cycling goddamn it.

okay, so, training officially began for us mid-January with a training group called The Runner's Edge. a fantastic group led by an incredible coach. we are so lucky to have gotten the sense to join (thanks to my hub who demanded we train this way). every saturday we do a group run beginning at the crack o' dawn. and i love it. despite the cursing from mother nature we receive nearly every damn saturday, i still love it. the people we've met. the education we've received. this is a life altering part of my life. and to do it with my hub makes it even more prodigious. what's more - i've convinced him we should run the biggie in chicago this fall as well. because why only do 1 when you can do 2, yeah?

the marathon is a mere 13 days away. nashville, tennessee here we come. then after about a month of slacking, we'll pony up once more for the summer session of our running group and prepare for chicago in october.

sweat takes on a whole new meaning at mile 26.

love & gu from me to you.

EYE of the tiger.

2007-02-20T21:43:00.000-06:00

this shit is hilarious. i took a quiz and ironically, i believe it could be exactly right on had i ever been forced to enter the medicinal world, god forbid.

The medical specialty for you is.... Ophthalmology
Ophthalmology is the best of all specialties. As an ophthalmologist, you will be unable to spell the name of the field you went into. You will loudly assert the difference between your field and optometry, but eventually, you will be making too much money to care.
To find out what specialty best fits your unique personality, go to:
What Medical Specialty Is For You?

vexing queries

2007-01-05T22:29:00.000-06:00
why does every person over 75 years of age eat butter pecan ice cream?

if i were Italian, would i also have a self-starter on my car?

why must my hair be curly when i want straight..and straight when i desire ringlets?

if i'm tired, why must i become a night owl with no apparent desire to sleep when it's really necessary.

and why the hell is waking up to an alarm so fucking hard?

why does our dog feel as though it's okay to lounge on new furniture in our absence?

at what age am i going to let the gray hair win?

why do people say they just need 5 minutes of my time when they really mean they will actually waste 15 minutes telling me what they'll discuss once they get me to commit to those 5 minutes later that day?

did all the crooks, bastards, sheisters, fuckheads, et al. ALL decide to get involved in real estate in my city during MY lifetime?

how many days can pass before i'll actually remember to pick up my dry cleaning? but when i took it in several days prior, it seemed as though i'd have nothing to wear if more than one day passed?

where IS the beef?

and most importantly where have all the cowboys gone?

...that's all.

Itchin' bitch.

2006-12-10T20:41:00.000-06:00
2006 seems to be wrapping up with real humdinger. Or humscratcher, shall we say.

The culprit - a gourd. A goddamn, sweet little pumpkin. What I used to consider a tasty flavoring to a latte, or baked into a nice loaf of bread, or the ultimate at Thanksgiving & Christmas in pie form. All shot to hell. No more of it.

And may I launch into a short tirade here? Because I am bringing up the rear (in more ways than you'll know) on Day 3 of this godforsaken hive session. What a fucking pain in the ass this is. Literally. Figuratively. And all senses in between.

My thighs have welts that look like I participated in a beehive-squeezing contest to see how long I could hold before their attacked was launched. My back, all the torso and yes, my friends, even my buttocks which does NOT need anything swelling upon it, looks like a connect-the-dots game waiting to commence. Hand over one of those markers the plastic surgeons play with and we could have a ball and create some type of human art, for fuck's sake. This morning I was searching the house far & wide for a tool with which to scratch the piss out of my poor, swollen tootsies..then about the time I would know my limit...the palms of my hands would start in. Oh, and then there was my seemingly-gradual-swollen mouth, lips and tongue. Elmer Fudd's had nothin' on me with his little lispy chatter. My hub just giggled when he saw the form my tongue had taken. From its once slim, pointy, elongated nature to now a version of "puffer tongue." Holy fuckness.

Was this how I would die? From having a pumpkin cheesecake the size of a 50-cent piece on Thursday night...and now to death's door (if only it was a bristle door, I could have at least scratched myself to pleasure until leaving the Earth).

Onto the ER for our Sunday morning brunch. Wheee. Just us, the drug addict, the potential gang-banging brother of a couple with child, and the nurse dressed all in fiery red KC CHIEFS attire to signify her support of the local team. Bless her.

Not a shot of epinephrine..not admittance to the room where I might lay until death. Instead a doctor and nurse who seemed annoyingly amused that I was probably their little break in the morning's craze. "Yep, looks like you've had an allergic reaction." REALLY? SERIOUSLY? Gee, I wasn't sure and was hoping you'd enlighten me because I perhaps misunderstood the FULL-BODY-ALIEN-LIKE ATTACK OF MOUNTAINOUS ITCHING MOTHERFUCKING CONTUSIONS covering my body mighta just been a little rash that I got from sitting in the grass. GIMME SOME ANTI-ITCH MEDS, CLOWN! And by the way, I'm really glad to help with your amusement Dr. and Ms. Nurse. Okay, when off my rant, I'll admit that actually I'm relieved that no needles or uncontrollable highs were on my list of things accomplished for this second weekend in December. And I'm even more relieved that my escapade with some shellfish whilst in wine country last weekend didn't land my ass into this swollen state because that woulda been really goddamn hard to taste wine & take notes with only one free hand because the other would have been too busy scratching.

So, going back to that thankful post during Thanksgiving...I will give thanks for the aforementioned PLUS the fact that I know now how important it will be to schedule my itchin' ass for a thorough allergy panel test fucking IMMEDIATELY, if not sooner.

Being thankful.

2006-11-25T21:07:00.000-06:00

I went out for a run today. Beaut of a day at nearly 60 degrees. Zero wind (amazingly) here in the little Kansas town where I am spending the Thanksgiving holiday. And for that, I shall start my thankfulness list.

I am gratified, beholden, and often overwhelmed for:

~ to start, only fair to say: no wind to make my slow but steady paced run a little less painful today
~ my hubby who gives unconditional love and teaches me to give it back
~ being raised by parents who knew enough to teach me important stuff and let me learn the rest
~ healthy family and friends
~ our dearest mates across the pond
~ being given the gift of awareness, both self- and universal-
~ knowing when to keep my mouth shut
~ the 3 fuzzy creatures who are my only children at this point
~ knowing how to listen
~ knowing how lucky I have been
~ a great grandmother (Granny Irene) who let me drink coffee at age 5
~ a creamy breve with lots of froth
~ the peeps at great local coffeehouse who put incredible designs on top of aforementioned coffee froth
~ my creative side
~ the people who demonstrate grace, so that I can learn to have that quality more often
~ knowing the significance and lessons learned by growing up on a farm/going to school in a small town
~ knowing that I would grown most by leaving the farm and the small town I went to school in
~ being blessed with straight teeth
~ mentors throughout my life who I'll not forget
~ reaching a new career threshold
~ knowing how to cook and being motivated to do it well
~ having tried yoga and knowing that I will begin it again
~ knowing I will always find a way
~ great sugar cookies
~ online shopping
~ experiences with great live music
~ having experienced life in Italy
~ having run and finished a marathon
~ DVRs
~ freedom
~ every day given to me
~ knowing that thankfulness is about giving more and wanting less

Give thanks. And pass it on.

music. makes the people. come together. yeah.

2006-11-11T23:30:00.000-06:00

So I've been thinking of this list I once compiled. Of every live performance I'd taken in - plus the venue to boot! And somehow I managed to leave this archive of information on a hard drive in a farmhouse somewhere in middle America. Perhaps seems trivial but this is a historical piece of my life that I now must recount. And that pisses me off...because it will in fact be a miracle if I can remember all this shit. But here goes, in no particular order, and sure as shit won't be alphabetized..

UB40 - Ames IA - my very first concert. attended with best friend from high school. some guys in our row bought us wine coolers. totally f'ing cool. think i was 16.

Bon Jovi - Ames IA - this was the show where he wore the sequined Superman jean jacket. Oh what a night.

Jimmy Buffet - Denver CO - went while in college, and I might add that I was not into it AT ALL. dragged there by my college boyfriend. if i'd only known how cool it was to have this experience then?! WTF? why was i such a dumbass by a) staying with college boyfriend (aka HS sweetheart) and b) why didn't I know how cool J. Buffet was then?

U2 - Denver CO - saw them on the Zoo Tour. Mile High Stadium, 10th row center. Fucking unforgettable. Paid $130 per ticket and took 2 girlfriends with me. We arrived at our unbelievable seats and broke down in tears because we were so close. Bono was a breath away from me. Cut to 2001 (if memory serves), and I saw them in Kansas City at Kemper. Stood our asses out in the cold for hours in order to get a good landing spot in the GA sec-shion, right at the tip of the heart-shaped catwalk. It fucking rocked. Bono and Edge were running amuck so close to me I could almost breathe their breath. Another cut to 2005, and my hub and I roadtripped it to St. Louis where we dinnered with some girlfriends who also had tickets to the show, drank until pleasantly buzzed, went to the show (Vertigo tour), and again fell in love all over again with my Irish lads. It doesn't get much better than these guys...

George Michael - Denver CO - went w/ college girlfriend. This was the tour where he cut all the hair off. It rocked. We swore we'd leave if he'd shaved his head and didn't come out in jeans. Neither happened, and we stayed like it was our last night on Earth, by golly.

The Bodeans - Denver CO - don't remember much. Not sure who I went with or why I was there? Never been a big fan..

Dishwalla - Denver CO - had a girlfriend who was linked up to the guitar player by several degrees of separation. We partied with them one new year's eve. Before they'd really sorta "made it" with their semi-hit, Counting Blue Cars. Backstage with them before/after the show was cool. We thought we were rock stars, even tho' we couldn't have been farther from that stature.

The Samples - Denver CO..Kansas City, MO - love 'em. Their sound takes me right back to Colorado. Grass roots, distinct sound. If you smoke pot, I'm sure the music really sends ya. I don't, so I just dance and swing my head from side to side.

HORDE festival - Denver CO - from what I remember, we saw...Blues Traveler, Sheryl Crow (she was on the 2nd stage, looong before she had hit it big), and many others. Too bad I wasn't sober enough to recall much, okay MOST of it.

Dave Matthews Band OPENING for Big Head Todd & the Monsters - Fort Collins CO - yeah, you read it right. DMB absoutely showed up BHT&TM. It was a night to go on record. This was on the brink of DMB rise to unpredicted/unimaginable fame.

Del Amitri - Boulder CO - went with dear friend and her boyfriend (now hubby). JJ + CS. Awww. Fond memories for sure.

The Getaway People opening for Semisonic - Des Moines IA - had a little snack at McDonald's before the show (because that's what sounds good when you've been drinking a few hours), and we sat adjacent to the drummer and guitarist for Semisonic. They are a good Midwestern band with roots in MinneSOHtah. Always loved them, but where did they disappear to?

R.E.M. - Denver CO - i had so much Ouzo before this show, it's a miracle I didn't die of alcohol poisoning right out on the green of Fiddler's Green. Christ. All I remember is that I was supposed to meet a bunch of friends out there. Somehow I wandered around...met guys sitting in the "GA" green who went to the School of Mines, and they knew my ex's brother...too bad I can barely recall Michael Stipe's talented ass being on stage. Youth + alcohol = blowing a good concert.

Donald Fagan - Denver CO - I attended with an old man who thought he might be able to date me. So he asked me to go see this show, and I was wondering who the hell Donald Fagan was. Little did I know my extensive music knowledge would get me miles beyond my 20-something age. I knew Steely Dan songs like the back of my hand! Singing along like a songbird!

Bonnie Raitt - Las Vegas NV - when I was a clothing rep for Quiksilver/Roxy, someone had gotten a big block of tickets. Saw her at the MGM Grand, and GRAND she was. What a talented lady. and to think that my roommate my last 2 years of college loved her, and I just couldn't appreciate the music at that point. Ahh, amazing what a few years and some exposure to the real world will do for one's musical tastes.

Willy Porter - Kansas City MO - at a small venue, The Grand Emporium. It was a great show.

Glen Phillips - Kansas City MO - saw him at The Hurricane. What a powerhouse for a little guy. I mean little in height. I felt like a giant when I met him. So genuine. So smart. Lyrically, one of the best songwriters in my book. Toad the Wet Sprocket songs give me chills for all the memories tied to those songs I remember so well. Living near Wash Park and living with Lainy. Ahhh memories.

Sarah McLaghlan - Ames IA - candles everywhere and it was her "Surfacing" tour. Theatrial. Beautiful. She embodies what I hope to achieve. Like some kind of calm, peace, knowing she's made it, balanced, and her spirit radiates the room.

Greg Brown - Ames IA - at the M Shop (or Maintenance Shop, for those who spell it out). Met Greg's father at this show. It was magical, and couple years later - his father passed away. I think Greg Brown changed my life when I saw him. Music took on a whole new meaning for me after seeing him perform here. I went on to see Greg do another 2 shows in Kansas City as well as Lawrence, KS. He's a god. Seriously.

Shawn Mullins - Overland Park KS - at Fox & Hound. A concert sponsored by a new station (at the time) called The Buzz. It was a strange venue, but Shawn put on a great show. It was Dec 2000. How do I remember this stuff?

Dave Matthews Band - Bonner Springs KS - Verizon Wireless Amphitheater. My hubb, then boyfriend, took me to the show. That night he told me he loved me...therefore, DMB always holds a special place in my heart for this reason. Particularly the "where are you going" tune.

Sting - Morrison CO - Red Rocks Amphitheater. Had diarrhea that morning. Drank a bottle of Pepto. Made it out to the parking lot just in time to wait enough hours both in the parking lot and then on the stairsteps in order to score the 7th row of "stone seating" in the venue. It was the "Soul Cages" tour. God, it was worth every swig of that Pepto, too.
Sonia Dada - Denver CO - saw them downtown and it was more people on stage than I've ever seen with any other show. Ever. Must've been 20+ musicians up there. Great music, great band.

Harry Connick Jr. - Morrison CO - Red Rocks again. My girlfriend Becky and I showed up late. We were pretty much pointed out when we walked in because the show had started. Harry basically acknowledged us. Being late paid off that time.

Patty Griffin - Des Moines IA - opened for Lucinda Williams. Patty was amazing and I remember crying during her show. She sang a song, "Mary." It made me think of my Grandma Mary...and 4 months later, my Grandma passed. It was eerie the foreshadowing this song had on the months that awaited me.. Patty has deserved more fame and attention than she has so far received.

Lucinda Williams - Des Moines IA - so real, such a great enterainer because you knew she was on stage doing what she loved. Her drummer had passed away just a week or two before the show in Des Moines, so she was very introspective and somewhat melancholy which meant she talked a lot between songs. Fantastic show.

Our Lady Peace - Kansas City MO - saw them with my hubby at the Beaumont Club. Another band who really didn't get the mileage they deserved. Great songwriting. A very worthy live band.

The Black Crowes - San Francisco CA - one of my all-time faves. The venue, the city, the whole night added up to magical. It's one I'll never forget.

Mudhoney - San Francisco CA - up close & personal type of show. Small venue. Had no idea about any of their music. Weird show but impressive. I felt so grungey and Pacific Northwesty after seeing them. Righteous.

Annie Lennox - Bonner Springs KS - she shared a show with Sting and blew us away!! Annie has the goods. Always has. Always will.

Sheryl Crow - Quad Cities IA/IL..Bonner Springs KS - I love Sheryl!! Her shows have always been incredible! Many times of my life are marked by songs from various Sheryl albums. She rocks.

Train - Kansas City MO - at the Uptown Theater. Pat Monahan is a little angel with songwriting capabilities that always move me. He's such a lover, an emotional artiste. Darling. And on stage, he won me over again, and again, and again.

Madonna - Los Angeles CA + Chicago IL - Reinvent Yourself tour in LA + the Confessions tour in Chicago. Both incredible. More impressed with the Confessions tour. She is my hero -er- lucky star or should I just say: QUEEN, and I've loved her since I was 12 years old.

Coldplay - Kansas City KS + Bonner Springs KS - and they rock. I predict they have the staying power of U2. Lyrically and vocally.

Todd Snider - Ames IA - the strangest musician I've ever had the pleasure of witnessing on stage.

Elton John - Kansas City MO - even though we sat behind the stage (free tickets, what's a girl to do?) it was unforgettable. He is barnone of my top 10 artists to love forever. I only wish I could have had the honor to see him in his younger years - his heyday.

Bryan Adams - Kansas City KS - saw him in 2005. Though many years after his peak, he still had it. Truly he did. Every song was just like I'd hoped it would sound.

Def Leppard - Kansas City KS - this is who Bryan Adams opened for in '05. It was hotter than hell. I believe August, if memory servies. Must've been 100 in the crowd we stood in for these shows. But it was great fun. Def Leppard still had it. Pyrotechnics and all.

Matchbox 20 - Bonner Springs KS - girls night out to the show. A great fall night concert. Don't remember a ton from this one.

Tonic - Ames IA - an outdoor concert. Even got to meet them backstage because The Nadas (who I managed) played on the 2nd stage at this event...but sadly, Tonic were a bunch of a-holes. Had a hard time liking any of their music thereafter.

Joan Jett - Ames IA - same concert as above. She was kick ass. Just like I'd knew she'd be.

Vertical Horizon - Omaha NE - saw them at an outdoor venue. Though such a quick rise & fall, I always liked this band and thought they had great potential. Still get flashbacks when listnening to their CD.

Ben Folds - Kansas City MO - saw him in the pouring rain in our City Market but despite rain was a great show. My hubby loves him, and since seeing him live - way more respect than I had before.

Barenaked Ladies - Kansas City MO - saw them in the City Market as well. These guys have never been a band I've collected every CD from, but a respectable live show.
Blue Merle - Kansas City MO - no longer a band due to breaking up. I thought their first release was worthy of notice and lovely combination of strings, vocals, keyboards - sorta folksy, bluesy, and just a nice sound. One that I'll be enjoying on the Bose lifestyle from now on..

Aerosmith - Bonner Springs KS - saw them Oct 06, and they were thoroughly impressive! Steven Tyler at age 59, rocks the house. LOVED the show and like a schoolgirl found myself clawing my way to the end of the catwalk (our seats were only a few away from it) so I could get an upclose glimpse of Steven. I did. And I screamed like a schoolgirl too.

Motley Crue - Bonner Springs KS - they were the first act on the shared bill with Aerosmith from above show. Way too many pyrotechnics and "c'mon mutherfuckers" + not enough gettin' on with the show. Tommy Lee was fairly quiet behind his set o'drums tho' did come out for a mashing with the 2 stripper-esque girls who roamed the stage at various times. Glad I got to see them. Only wish I'd done it 10 years ago.

Journey - Bonner Springs KS - albeit not in the form I'd wished (with Steve Perry) -it was still a pretty impressive show. All the other band members are original save the lead signer. And yes, I know Steve Perry was key. But I was satisfied to see these guys rock out. Which I happily saw from the 5th row :)

Duran Duran - Kansas City MO - finally saw my Fab Five. Can I tell you how much I loved them during my middle school years? Really was obsessed, I think. Anyway, it was a hoot to see them and to look around at the crowd. My age mostly, and we were all little fanatics 20+ years ago. I enjoyed every song and sang nearly every goddamn word too.

Norah Jones - Kansas City MO - saw Norah on her first tour out after her first release was out and blowing up. She seemed fairly uncertain of herself at times which made it all the more real. Totally talented and could listen to her music all day long. She's got the goods.

The Pat McGee Band - Omaha NE - a folksy band out of Virginia. Check them out! www.patmcgeeband.com

Dazy Head Mazy - too many places to remember, but probably saw them in Minneapolis - a fun, energetic band hailing from Minnesota. I just remember a song called Not Raven. It still sorta haunts me. www.dazyheadmazy.com

G.B. Leighton - Minneapolis MN + Las Vegas NV - great midwestern band with great original songwriting. Hail from Minnesota. www.gbleighton.com

Jack Ingram - Minneapolis MN - saw him at The Fine Line. Rootsy rock but maybe actually classified as the country music genre. The nicest guy and musically talented too. What more can a girl ask for? www.jackingram.net

The Shore - Kansas City MO - this band opened for Blue Merle, and lo -n- behold I'd heard a couple of their songs on our digital music station on cable TV. So was able to talk with a couple of the guys at their merch table. Totally California guys and adorable. Bought their CD complete with an autograph of a couple of the band members (hi, i'm a groupie), and still listen to the CD over & over. www.theshoremusic.com

The Nadas - everywhere you can imagine - the band I managed and cut me teeth on when learning the ropes of what it took to become a real salesperson and a real business person living on the income derived from gigs. Yeah. I can't believe it either. This shit was some of the most consuming, difficult, balls-to-the-wall work I've done. But I did it and loved every minute of it. They are still playing for a living after starting about a dozen years ago. God bless their souls. www.thenadas.com

more additions that I forgot!...
Pat Benatar - Kansas City MO - just saw her. Summer '06. 'Twas a girl's night out and we sang along with all the songs. Pat has class. Pat has intensity. Pat has IT. Was a primo show that I'm really glad to have enjoyed from a close 20 feet from her majesty.

Melissa Etheridge - Kansas City MO - also just saw Melissa on tour. Fall '06. Went with a dear friend who so generously awarded me with a free ticket to join her. Melissa was so cool, so impassioned, so eloquent. With a groundedness that I've never thought more real in any public performer than I did in Melissa. A Kansas girl who truly demonstrates and speaks to the fact she hasn't forgotten where she came from. And I like that.

++STOP THE PRESSES++ There's a couple MORE!
Brandi Carlisle - Kansas City MO - great newcomer onto the music scene. Strong girl, strong lyrics, bolts 'em out like a singer/songwriter should. Love her. Even got her autograph in a crowded lobby in between shows.

Bruce Willis - Kansas City MO - riiiight. Ever seen a drunk man try to play harmonica and sing when he's really an actor? Don't if you can help it.
BUT WAIT...THERE'S MORE...
B.B.King - Eastern Iowa sometime in Summer 1998 - and one of the bands I was managing at the time opened for Mr. King. I watched from the VIP section up front, at this outdoor show. What a musician this man is. A legend.
The Police - reunited for their 2007 tour - Denver, CO. FRONT ROW BAYYBBEEE!! That's right. My hubby got us tickets in row #1. Fucking righteous. I nearly peed in my pants when we walked in and saw where we'd be watching the show. Sting stood on our side of the stage, too. Even better. I even got an eyebrow raise from Sting, and we were so damn close it was NOT my imagination that those eyebrows raising were directed right at me!! I'll never forget this one..I get goosebumps recounting it.

There's (still) more for sure. I will add as my brain pulls out the fond memories and blows the dust off 'em. Remember...SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL MUSIC SCENE!!

“When people hear good music, it makes them homesick for something they never had, and never will have.” ~ Edgar Watson Howe

Addictions. Attempt #2.

2006-10-28T00:07:00.000-05:00

After working until the wee hours of the morn (3am to be exact) and having the fruits of my blog labor vanish into thin air, here I am with my back spasms sitting in this godforsaken chair again. Just had so many fun addictions to share, that it's hard for me to let go until I can write about them. Addictions run in the family, and I'm always happy to sift through mine and give thanks to the universe for allowing mine to be -in most cases- uninjurious. (barring credit cards being used for retail addiction which could in fact be injurious when husband opens bills with me in vicinity)

Let's begin with Compulsion #1: Sudoku. Thanks to a nice lady sitting next to me on a flight from Seattle to Boise, I now have a fantastic new pastime. My computer Boggle game knows no love after having this enter my life. Always have been the freak who once used to keep a dictionary next to the bed just to learn new words...and now with pencil in hand, I obsesses over the numbers 1-9 and their placement within a grid. My hub, who now probably has a voodoo doll made up for the lady who taught me how to do Sudoku, sorta just sighs and thinks he might very well have to do an intervention in future. While he pops a Prilosec wondering what he did to deserve this puzzle freakster when all he wanted was the chick who participated with Naked Star Wars Watching Night back during the dating times..ohh, fond memories.

Crush #2: Starbucks Mistos. A fancy name for cafe au lait, and I love them. Keeps me from either consuming a bunch o' sugar with sweetened lattes...and keeps me from thinking of the old days (Omaha, 1999) when I learned from a dear friend what a BREVE was. It's heaven in a cup. But christ, it's half-n-half. The "former" 20-something metabolism ain't livin' here no more. So Misto for me, ladeedadadee. Having a Starbucks across the street from the office makes life grand. I'm tellin' ya, there's a staff of folks at that 'bucks who know my schedule better than I know myself. Fucking scary. So I have to keep it fresh. Keep it real. That entails ordering new things. Then the various darlings who work there can't just move me thru the line like I'm some version of Norm from Cheers.

Quest #3: Bond No. 9. First of all, I must say the amount of work that is required to land upon that one aroma that suits you, is the dirtiest retail experience I've had. I was sprayed up, down and side to side by this perfume queen with eyelashes longer than my pinky toe. My french whore smellin' sidekick was bearing through this with me, and at the end of our session - it woulda taken a trip to the Folgers plant and a faceplant into a VAT of coffee beans to quell the sensory overload we experienced. Like nothing I've ever allowed to happen before. All for the love of the Bond No. 9. Ahh yes, the cute bottle shape and colors. And now I've got a primer on each of the fragrances, who in Hollywood wears them (how cool is that), and notes on what my reactions were. I MUST have myself one of these little fuckers even if they are $200 per. It's all I can think about.

Neurosis #4: Piperlime. This year is the year of living dangerously. It is the year I must find replacement black boots. Sounds easy. But this task is daunting and makes my ass cramp. Ya see, I've had multiple-year relationship with the pair I know and love. They are the pull-on, no-zipper with a decent heel but not too high, squarish toe, and so overall excellent that I took these little bastards to the shoe doctor for some bondage last season. Yeah. I know. Hard to believe that I, of all people, would not be seizing the moment for new retail opportunity. But then I get this email from GAP telling me to try their new website for shoes...www.piperlime.com. And after already having placed a rather large, but shipped-for-free, order from the big N...I found myself looking to Piperlime like a new lover as she dangles its free shipping and a 10% off for new lovers, er I mean customers. More details to follow once order arrives on doorstep. So giddy I almost want to leave some cookies on a plate for the mailman to arrive with box like he's my early version of Santa. This is crazy...

And that concludes this week's assortment of addiction stories. There are way more, but my ass is tired and another 3am bedtime will simply not do. Good night, and good luck.

Unbelievable.

2006-10-27T03:10:00.000-05:00
I just experienced my first time of working over 2 hours on a creative little blog entry only to lose the whole fucking thing as I hit the spell check function. I never hit spell check. Never. Spell check is now going to be the name of a voodoo doll I'll be creating and punishing for this terrible terrible occurrence.

The moral of tonight's story is to always cover one's ass. In fact, this has been the moral to my week. My MONTH. Cover it up. Cover it good. Why would I not SAVE the goddamn blog even if every word was misspelled. I mean, really. It's 3am, and I think I'd like to rip apart this office and scream like Cameron did in Ferris Bueller. Fuck.

I'm going to bed. I can't bear the thought of watching the sun come up because I have the need to recreate my creativity tonight. And I still have to shower. Fuck Fuck Fuck.

Sweet dreams are not made of this.

Until next time..

Tommy

2006-10-01T00:04:00.000-05:00

Football follies. I do like the sport. A bit more hep on college than pro. But Tom Brady saves the day and makes enduring those nimrod commentators something manageable. God love him.

There's football, and then there's football frolicking with Tommy.

What fun is throwing the pigskin if you can't fantasize about the boys in tight pants, for Christ's sake? It's my own private version of Babes in Toyland or shall we call it Football Fave in Boyland?

Doling out autographs like the good guy he is. His fav-o-rite band is U2. Born in California - wonder if he surfs (extra points if he does)? Cartoonily guest-appeared on Family Guy (the cartoon likeness was miniscule, but the episode was hilarious). A stint on Saturday Night Live on which he had balls to do scene in tighty whities. I've been criticized by some who spoke out against this lad whose Alma Mater is Michigan. Yeah, yeah. I don't wanna hear it. What's not to love about the aptness of this soul? Tres beau - ooh la la!

Born on August 3, 1977. Little lion he is. Ooh and it pains me, you see. For so many reasons I will refrain from elaborating. But let us not digress, because despite the minor setback of this robust, strong, comely, athletic, Adonis' Leo-ness ... I still love him. Fuck astrology torpedoes - full speed ahead, my Patriot!

Stems of Life

2006-08-28T23:31:00.000-05:00
This stuff sorta pours out of me every now and again.

I'm hoping that will happen when I get my ass in gear to write a novel.

So here it is. Written in another time, another place. Poetry in blog-motion.

========
stems of life

an introduction – polite exchange,
handshakes along shiny hellos.
it seemed so familiar, somewhat selfsame;
soon it’s poetry blossoming from prose.

dip the toe, oh shaky foot,
what is real against vivid dreams?
take the heart and gently put
somewhere hidden tho’ you’ll still see

blooms so full – delicate yet;
opening up begs risk and return.
stems of life, keep them wet;
growth continues while seasons burn.

frames of life, old and new -
which portrait illuminates so?
the dance commences for select few,
these rhythmic moves on lines we tow.

paths will turn – limits impose,
such radiant light shines up ahead.
listen heart, hear the soul,
Love unequivocally found you instead.

Show-Me; The Razorbacks

2006-08-28T20:53:00.000-05:00
Reflections and animadverts about a recent road trip.

Arkansas - "The Natural State." Hmmm. Who knew this was the nickname? Have you ever looked up the webpage with all the state nicknames? A fascinating way to blow time during your day, if you're looking to procrastinate a great deal on any particular day.

Right, so back to Arkansas. Natural? Sure it was natural. Naturally a pain in my ass to be driving on its road system one early evening, with all the curvy topsy turvy highways and byways with deer creature running about. Naturally overpriced to stay in a little town with only 5 acceptable hotel stops that would provide safety. Naturally the towns are placed apart with only county roads and logging trucks for you to follow when you are trying like hell to make it to next town at an average of 55mph but still unable to achieve it due to note-taking for what you'll read below.

Only in Arkansas do you...
..see an ad banner staked on a busy corner which reads, "Concealed Gun Carrying Class" 7pm tonite at the VFW Post 59.

..witness trucks with the confederate flag emblazoned onto the door as though it is breaking through from the inside. This type of paint job must cost more than some budget line items for the state itself.

..observe the nearly life-size figurines of Snow White & her 7 dwarves placed neatly in between each wooden column on a front porch alongside State Route 412. I don't believe I've ever seen that type of home ornamentation in all of my travels.

..wonder what the hell the The Huddle House is. I wasn't sure if this was an eating establishment or a place of worship. I tend to think that the 2 may coexist here but wasn't brave enough to stop and see.

..spy a donkey securely tied to an old beat-up pickup which was sorta lodged into a ditch. I guess this is a more surefire way of making sure the donkey doesn't uproot the fencepost and make off with his fellow asses.

..and last but not least, see with ones' own 2 bloodshot eyes a yard full of lawn ornaments surrounding a featured verse from the good book written upon a large piece of foam-core board. If only I had witnessed this around the corner from The Lord's Library (which I saw in Missouri, but still worthy of mention).

Missouri - "Show-Me State" is its sobriquet. Show me the way out, is all I can think of.

Missouri - my state of residence. Home? That's a strong word. Now, to be fair, I love my house with my hub and fuzzy kids. But, if I could be back to Colorado or anywhere near mountains or a coast. Well, that would suit me swimmingly. This state has to have some of the worst roads, worst schools and while it may not rank below Arkansas on the nations list of smart states from 1-50, there's no goddamn rocky mountain high happenin' here.

Can I start by saying that Branson must be one of the craziest little places you've ever been. Traffic on the fucking ONE road that takes you thru it comes to a complete stop as 25 cute little gray-haired tourists cross the busy street with name tags on and their smiles as big as Montana. They're headed to the Baldknobbers Jamboree or the Dixie Stampede, by golly. And your ass isn't going anywhere until they all cross the road. God love these folks. Because my grandparents were doing the same thing with MY MOTHER not too many years ago. (Damn, my mom must've looked like a teen to the rest of the group when she joined them on the tour.)

Then there's Springfield which gives us the lovely Brad Pitt. And for that, my friends, we can all be thankful. My ventures to & fro Springfield always amaze me. Where are all the people coming from or going to in this town? It's the biggest small town I've ever been to. Let's hope the project that I've worked on (mildly) for the last 2.5 years here will actually give way to some income someday soon. Wouldn't that be nice.

Can you believe I also experienced Lebanon whilst on this traveling adventure. Yep, it's true. Thar she blows, Lebanon, Missouri. Nothing but jacked up pickups, the walnut bowl factory, and Chicago Cutlery factory seconds.

Oh, the fun just never ended on this trip. I have so much more to offer, so many other towns to tell you about. ...onto Rolla, then Nixa, Ozark and Clinton - there's nothing to do here but drink and play badminton!

I drove 650+ miles and not one razorback did I see. Maybe next time.

Praise the sharp Marky Mark.

2006-07-30T18:00:00.000-05:00

Somewhere toward the end of Season 1, my husband casually asks if I want to watch Entourage. Side by side, snuggled in our bed, I agree to watch. Mind you, though, not amused that this show (about men, seemingly geared to men, executive produced by a man - like the goddamn deodorant commercial but reversed!) seemed like a trivial attempt at replacing my girls - the fabulous foursome of Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha.

Sex and the City having ended that year put me in a time of mourning. Yes, me and millions of others. Not just women, either. It spanned far and wide: old-young-female-male-gay-straight-bi-semi-all-of-the-aforementioned. Talk about a panoramic sweep. And yet I was swept. Sad. Wondering when I would start over with Season 1 and watch them all again with the intent to gain new appreciation for the characters on the second time around.

It's true. I had resisted watching Entourage because of a slight bitterness. It felt too soon. Like a relationship of years had ended and suddenly I'm faced with sort of a sexy opportunity that felt wrong to participate in. My hubby being the very in-tune gent that he is...well...he knew. Watching and giggling either while working out or before bed, he was enjoying a new brand of gratification. HBO and their perfectly crafted 30-minute morsels of hedonism. He had a male version of Sex and the City, and I'd be damned if I was going to let him enjoy himself without me!

So here I am, in Season 3, and I'm madly in love again with HBO for introducing this cast into my life. Mark Wahlberg, you're my hero. The show is like reading an entry from a Hollywood-ite's diary. When the show comes to a screeching halt after the almost cruel length of 30 minutes, you just can't believe it's over. I love E for his grounded, humble-pie cuteness. Who doesn't love Vince? C'mon now. Drama is tireless in his efforts to seek fame and knows how to cook, what's not to love about that? And our little pot-smokin' Turtle - awww - everyone needs a Turtle in their lives. I love them all for the men they almost are and the men they want to be (sorry, I just watched Jerry McGuire last night).

Love the music, love the show, love the channel, love it all (another smack of movie-line-ness, sorry, can't help myself). Hail to the coterie, the patronage, the retinue who are enraptured with this comedy series about "Hollywoo(rl)d".

Wahlberg delivers "TV For The People" this time. Groove on, Mark.

2006-06-21T23:45:00.000-05:00
Madonna - Borderline

Madge Made In Heaven

2006-06-21T22:02:00.000-05:00

Cut to 1984.

I'm a middle-school-aged-MTV-addicted Midwestern adolescent with a freakish passion for music. Listening to the Casey Kasem Top 40 Countdown each Sunday was an anticipated weekend event. Keeping tabs upon all 40 positions of each week's song tally. This was serious shit. I was seriously serious about this shit. And let me add that my dad, on the other hand, was scared shitless. His daughter was not only refusing to be ripped away from the radio for all of Sunday afternoon in order to be with Casey but also watching MTV like a cult-follower. The VeeJays were my idols. Each video my muse. I was carving art blocks of the MTV logo, mind you, while the other girls were making fancy images of flowers and cartoons for fuck's sake. I was highly wired for the music industry, and if only I'd followed that thru and become an entertainment lawyer instead of a goddamn marketing major. Ahh, but marketing is important, don't let me play it down so quickly. Madge is a marketer extraordinaire.

But let's get to the real topic here.

Madonna. . . with that rag-a-muffin hair. Rubber bracelets running amuck. The mole. The thingy tied in her hair. The fingerless lacey gloves. Ever so cool as she rolled around on the floor to the song, Borderline, which I remember so specifically. God, was it good. I was choreographing the moves to these videos, and by god if I coulda gotten my hands on a can of spray paint, I would likely have gone to the basement to practice that portion of the video too. I was giddy with delight about Madonna. Oh and the love just grew through the many-a-changin' face of Madge. The Borderline video should be available for your viewing pleasure on my blog as well, if I set it up right. (Still learning about stuff like this - really have no clue.)

Borderline, Live To Tell, Open Your Heart, Oh Father, Keep It Together, Express Yourself, Vogue, Deeper and Deeper, Crazy For You, Don't Cry For Me Argentina, Drowned World, Candy Perfume Girl, The Power of Goodbye, Don't Tell Me, What It Feels Like For A Girl, Beautiful Stranger, Get Together, Hung Up, I Love New York. Girls in red dresses with big fake eyelashes, videos and concerts that politically bashes, Madonna's winter white that melts into spring, yes these are a few of my favorite things...

Okay, so I still have the giddiness about her. I admit it. She's a marketing genius. Maybe not the best actress (who cares?). But she has traveled a road that she paved by hand albeit a hand that might possibly have been caressing her crotch or a dancer's crotch. Hell yeah. If I were her, I'da been caressing my crotch too. Why? Because she can. She could, she did, and she can.

May '04, we see the opening night of her Re-invention Tour in L.A. It was the first time either my hubby or I had the opportunity for an opening night show. More the point it was our first Madonna show. Perhaps the gross anticipation, the months we had waiting to get there, or that we were in L.A. where nobody seemed to go out of their way to reeeallly celebrate opening night - we felt it was a little lackluster. It was a theatrical performance at times, a politically and religiously charged show at other times, and when the show ended - that was that. Lights up. Tear down. Get out folks. We didn't know about a no-encore ending. We didn't know what had hit us in general. We were on a post-Madonna dissonance that night. Sorta like post-purchase dissonance which I had learned about in consumer behavior class as I was embarking on gaining that degree I mentioned above.

Then the "Confessions" album gets released, and we loved the music. More than I, my hubby was now deeming this one of her best albums, and he declares we WILL be seeing her IF she goes on tour for this batch of songs. Lo and behold, the tour date list quietly falls upon our eyes as we scroll through Ticketmaster's website one night. Under no influence of alcohol (can't say the same for other purchases made over previous years), we click our way through to a pair of tickets for Chicago's show on June 18. The Confessions World Tour 2006. It was a show to be remembered. Yeah, the United Center got hot. Yeah, she admittedly turned off the A/C in the place and promptly told us to take our clothes off if we were so hot. But damn, none of us in our section cared (nor did we witness anyone else complaining), because this show was sensory delight. She entertained, provoked imagination, she was discotheque cool in a way no woman was before. An unadulterated frolic pad, you see. Can't help but think about finding our way to another show before this tour ends. Sinful, I know. But nothing a few hail marys couldn't cure, right?

Disco balls
Lights so bright
Wanton dance moves
Magical night!

Madonna: Confessions Tour / June 18, 2006 / Chicago United Center

Confession has never been so tasty.

~ab

Cures

2006-05-18T23:52:00.000-05:00

Nothing like the feeling of being cured.

The mani. The pedi. The purchase of clothing that makes you feel like a million-or possibly a zillion bucks.

I especially am besotted to that feeling my tootsies get when coming alive with the shedding of its old dryness, welcoming the new soft-as-a-baby's-butt condition that's only found after my fave gal gives me ped. Swear to God, I came out whistling "Hooked on a Feeling" complete with chanting OOGA CHAKA too. Yeah, this ped is that good.

But the mood has dulled a bit this eve, because I now so desperately need a clothing panacea. What the hell is up with spring and summer wardrobing? Why is this so hard for me to figure out? The biggie, grandpappy-of-them-all convention is just a few short days away from kick off - and I'm standing in a worn-out thong jammed in my ass with a droopy bra in a severely clashing color while putting on...taking off...putting on...ripping off.. these options of what to wear to convention and its many-a-splendored parties and dinners to accompany each night.

Oh sure, I've been out shopping. But goddamn if I don't feel as though I've somehow drawn my 7 letters for a good game of Scrabble only to find that I've got 6 consonants with 1 measly vowel to be the glue - the bonding - for any potential good words. Son of a...scrabble bitch.

I don't know what the elixir is for this.

Well, sure I do. It's called a shit pile of money. But since I won't be winning the lottery until at least Saturday night (thus not having unlimited available funds in the next 2 days), it's a frantic call to the creative gods. And to the sale gods. Let's throw in Lady Luck, for good measure.

In the words of a wise soul who taught me various slang from lands near and far: I've got "sweet fuck all" to wear to this symposium. And I've yet to find a cure.

The grass is greener.

2006-05-14T23:00:00.000-05:00

For me, this week's experience is a rite of passage.

Learning to ride a bike, first kiss, first love, throwing one's cap in the air after shuffling along to the Pomp & Circumstance tune, acceptance into the college you dreamed of being admitted, getting married to the "one", buying a house and renovating it with aforementioned "one" - just a sampling of those rites. Or passages.

But yesterday when our front yard magically (okay, over 3 days of a landscaping crew working their asses off) transformed into a desperate tangle of vines into the most springy blanket of green grass that begs to have bare feet running upon it? This was when I started to get that feeling of wanting to do cartwheels - perhaps one-handed if I dare say it - and maybe even a brave attempt at an aerial. This grass needed to be celebrated.

A fairly adult-type of feeling to see the earth being moved. The crew performing its mission. The great wall of 1010 was built. No longer a slope of dirt but instead a leveled out phased area that would soon take shape. The grass show up in its rolls. Many rolls. Okay, I know it's called sod. But in the shape of big Ho-Ho's (sans chocolate, damn!).

We zoom off for a few hours only to return to all the Ho-Ho's being unrolled and looking as though sewn together to form a yard. A yard shrouded in the Holy Ho-Ho Quilt. A yard that we may sit upon. Roll upon. Gaze upon. Pick up weekend newspaper whence it laid upon. Ho-Ho Diggity.

This is a damn fine way to get a yard. Seeds be gone!

Growing up on a farm, only the city folk were ordering rolls of grass. Not that I cared or even knew the difference back then. My childhood yard was a forest, an orchard, a garden, a field, a parking area, a roller rink (well, the sidewalk was anyway). And I daresay, I took it for granted. It was an acreage that I used to be responsible for the mowing of, much to my dismay.

But now, I celebrate the yard. For its beauty. Its showcasing abilities. Its place on my list for a rite of passage. And for the fact that my husband can spend more time mowing than the maneuvering it once took to get mower out for use.

There will be no parking on this grass.

Not unless it's our giggling asses uncorking a bottle of wine to raise a glass to the Sod Gods.

~ab

Going bananas.

2006-05-09T23:13:00.000-05:00

Bananas have never been a huge part of my life. They wander in. They wander out. Sometimes a big bunch of them catches my eye at the grocery, and I can't help myself. I take great care in choosing the right bunch with the right ripeness. Then, may go for weeks without one. I think I struggle with the ripe factor. Too green - and they taste like grass. Too ripe - and I just decide I'll save them for baking. It's like goddamn porridge that you have a small window of opportunity to get them juuuuuust right.

Then a week and a half later, there I am trying to figure out if I should:
a) preserve by freezing (but looking prettttty gross once turned completely black and never quite the same no matter what Sara Moulton says)

b) bake some banana nut bread one night during week and end up whirring my Kitchen Aid until 1am, eating half the loaf because it's best warm, then taking remains of bread to office whilst everyone wonders why only 6 pieces and not whole loaf available for consumption

c) watching cat try sniping small fruit flies that appear out of nowhere

Yes, bananas have always been the fruit I'll slowly let disintegrate on counter and never feel that that bad about it.

My mother used to eat 2 or 3 a day for weeks on end. And she wasn't pregnant with me, by the way. I think she wound up with some crazy potassium imbalance and the doctor had to pry it out of her about the banana addiction. My family has a habit of locking in on a particular food and needing to have it in abundance until one may get sick OF it or sick FROM it. Then we're onto the next craving, thank you very much.

Okay, well, the banana topic is raised for a very sound reason. I've been turned onto a frozen delight called Diana's Bananas. Thank you to my dear friend CK, for without her, I would not know about these. Covered in dark chocolate was her recommendation, and I didn't question. I didn't hesitate. And others must agree, because upon my arrival at the freezer in my market there were only 2 little boxes left. That's right. So I bought both boxes.

It's safe to say that I may be following in my mother's footsteps. But I'm afraid the damages could be worse since these delicious nanners are dipped in what may be some of the best dark chocolate I've ever had. Award-winning. You realize that I'm about to hop in bed. There I'll be counting bananas and hearing The Count from Sesame Street talking about his snacks saying it like he does...

1 little nanner..ha ha ha
2 little nanners..ha ha ha

This is so beyond being cuckoo for cocoa puffs.

~ab

Color My World.

2006-05-07T22:59:00.000-05:00
Hair! (hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair)
Flow it...Show it...HAIR!

No cussing, just celebration with words from the musical as promised. Maybe a touch off-key. But singing nonetheless.

No, not exactly the same experience as sitting in the chair at previously mentioned zen-like salon. But boy oh boy, did I save a pretty penny with this experiment. The haircoloring world is my oyster.

I'd like to thank Natural Match (good old L'Oreal)!

As well as Frost & Design (also L'Oreal)!

Gonna flow it. Gonna show it. My straight from a box, home-done Hair!

~ab

Hair ye, hair ye.

2006-05-06T22:27:00.000-05:00

An experiment like this could spell disaster. I've seen the evidence of others. I've been told about the not-so-good, the really bad, and the green ugly. Luckily I've only had few hair mishaps. Mostly date it back to the perm era, circa 1983. You know what I speak of, if you were a girl who desperately sought out those cool locks where meet in the middle curling was a way of life. This was serious shit. As was the Sheena Easton do, but that's a whole other topic. Will save cuts of past for another time.

Anyway, I got off track.

I can't help but think there's a way around spending a load each time I go in to my salon (quite possibly the best one in town which happens to be just 7 minutes away from my house). I do love this hip salon. Been going there since the day I moved to KC. Love my stylist, love my colorist. The place is very zen in its decor. Lures you right in. So why am I sitting here with a this heinous cap and zip-loc-esque (sans the zip or the loc) bag atop my bean - my noddle - my soon-to-be-lightened crown? Curiosity I guess.

It began in such a harmless way. A little dabbling with root touch up. Seemed to go pretty well the 3 or 4 times I did it. Mix up a cute little dab of color. Brush it on with a miniature utensil that would have been really cool for my Tiny Tears dolly when I was a wee one. Voila. Roots-be-gone. I liked it. It held me for at least another 3 weeks until needing visit to the foiler.

So leave it to me for a leap of faith to star in my own version of extreme hair makeover. But I can't help it. If I can cut my husband's hair (while drinking wine, even), surely I can figure out my way through 5N + a little bleach for some cap-pulled highights.

Will I have regret after the post-color wash and tone? Stay tuned. I'll either have next entry as only a series of vulgarities or I'll be singing showtunes from the musical, Hair.

~ab

Reaching For The Switch.

2006-05-06T00:48:00.000-05:00
Where's the damn light switch? I am feeling around. With anxiety. Something might reach out and GRAB MY LEG before I can get switch of light flicked to "on" so as to illuminate this new territory I've discovered called Blogger. Feeling nervous. But exhilirated.

Cool. 35 ain't so bad after all.

~ab